Wednesday, January 22nd 2020- Day 2 Decapeptyl
For the first time in weeks I had a bad night’s sleep, waking several times. I’ve woken with a headache, but I’m ok. I pushed through with no Panadol. My second Decapeptyl isn’t much better than the first, still hurts. Still have pretty instant wooziness and fatigue after the shot.
I had my first hot flush at around lunch time, which felt never ending and oh my goodness it’s horrible!! Without warning my cheeks started to get warm, but not like the day is hot and I’m hot on the outside. This feels like my blood is boiling and the heat is trying to escape my skin! I sat in phone meetings (as I work from home on Wednesdays) happy to be home because I had an ice pack plastered to my face. I messaged my Mum and asked her for tips as I was chewing on an ice-cream – which Mum says won’t help anything except my waistline to grow. I felt a bit off and headachy again. Luckily, I had an acupuncture appointment. I told her my symptoms and she popped in her needles and left the room as she normally does. A few minutes after she left my feet started to feel as though they are on fire. It was so uncomfortable I almost felt like calling out for her to come back, but I didn’t. The feeling soon subsided and as it did, I literally felt the heat drain from my face. It’s was such a weird sensation, wow!! I think she took away my hot flushes!!! I love her!
I’ve been preparing my bed each night with layers in case of a hot flush (as I’ve been told to expect the night sweats) and I keep a fan on my all night. But after the acupuncture, I’m completely fine and have a great night’s sleep.
Thursday, January 23rd 2020
I feel like my injection it’s nearly as bad today and I think I’m getting my groove back, yay!! Nothing much to report except a headache all day. I don’t feel anywhere near as zombie like as when I’m stimming. I guess that’s what I have to look forward to.
Friday, January 24th 2020
My injection was definitely better today! Medication still has an awful sting, but my darting action is strong! No hot flushes again today. Well actually, I did feel a tad warm when I arrived at work and then after my shower tonight, but I managed to cool just by delayering or having a fan on. Really acupuncture is worth all the money and more! I still have a headache, although I managed with some Panadol.
I’ve been craving a lot of sugar and I feel like I need to try and cut back as I know that’s not great.
I’m just counting down the days. Less than a week now until my next blood test. I desperately want to turn my calendar to February as I know that will be my transfer month and I’m so excited!!
I’m trying so hard to manage my expectations. I understand that this might not work. With my last two cycle rates we might not even get anything to transfer. But I just feel like this is it! I hope so. I pray to God so.
Saturday, January 25th 2020
Woke up feeling a little down, maybe it’s just that I’m a little tired. It kind of sucks having to wake up early on a weekend to keep my injections timed but I spent the day relaxing.
I think the weekends, when I have more time to myself, on my own, that I over think things. Today, I’m feeling a bit sad to be doing this alone. On days when I’m just not 100% it would be so nice to have someone else around who will bring me a glass of water, or make me a cup of tea, maybe rub my back a little. I feel a little sad when I see all my fellow TTC sisters online, their husbands helping to give them their injections, or seeing a shout out about how they ‘couldn’t do it’ without the support of their significant other. I mean, I know I can do it without, but I wish I didn’t have to. From being pregnant previously, I know once I’m pregnant I’ll be even more tired. Even though I didn’t have that much support last time (as I wasn’t living with my partner and really only saw him on weekends with the occasional catch up during the week) it was still nice on some level to share the experience with someone. Sometimes I feel like I’m being a burden by leaning so much on my family and friends. I know I have great friends and family, but I feel like I shouldn’t over share with them, they have their own lives and their own families. Even though I know I’m doing the right thing, this is my path to take, today I feel sad that I don’t have someone here to do it with.