Diary of a Single Mum: Trying to Conceive- IVF (round 1 – part 1).

Monday, January 20th 2020

Today is day 21 of my cycle. So, I’m off to the fertility clinic to have my bloods check to make sure I’ve ovulated and collect all of my medications to start my IVF round. After everything I’ve been through to get here, I thought I’d feel more nervous but, I don’t. I just feel like this is it, this is when you become you and finally, I get to be your mum. I know the next few weeks will be hard, even the next few months. I’m actually a little scared to get pregnant. I want with everything I have to get to enjoy you, from the very start. But I know that losing your siblings will make those first few months hard. I hope I don’t let the anxiety get the best of me. I think I’m more scared to have you and then lose you than to never have you at all. I will just keep having to pray and hope that my love for you and the joy in knowing you’re there will be more that the fear.

Everything I need to do at the clinic, done… chat with nurse- done, pay a small fortune- done, have bloods drawn- done, collect drugs- done! All ready for the call this afternoon to tell me to start. Sure enough the call comes, I’ve ovulated (never a doubt in my mind), and I’m to start my Decapetyl tomorrow morning. The Decapeptyl will act on my pituitary gland and I will stop producing estrogen, basically sending me into menopause until they kickstart my ovaries again with more drugs in a week or so. Because my previous rounds, where I was just trying to save some eggs to make you a little brother or sister, were a little all over the shop in the consistency of my follicle sizes we’re trying to start the stimulating hormones with an even playing field of zero! I’m so hopeful that it means I get more eggs than ever before and that I only have to do this once. Mostly because I want to meet you by next Christmas!

I discovered a rainbow alleyway near my clinic, I’ve walked past it many times and have never noticed it. I think it’s a sign I’m going to get my rainbow baby.

I’ve been doing lots of things to make sure my eggs and my body are ready to make and grow you. I’m taking lots of vitamins and supplements, I’m eating lots of fruit and vegetables, I even gave up my diet coke addiction for you! I hope for you, it’s enough xoxo

Tuesday, January 21st 2020

Starting Decapeptyl.

Up early for work and before I’m out the door it’s injection time!! I’ve got this… ummm no I don’t got this. I’ve lost my nerve a little in the 3 months break I took from giving myself injections. I’d gotten so quick during my last cycle that they barely hurt at all. Also, this medication hurts more than any of the previous ones, it stings so bad!! It’s all good, I was brave, and I pushed through. Hopefully my technique improves!

I didn’t expect the symptoms to be so quick. I pretty much instantly feel whoozy and about half an hour later fatigue sets in. Otherwise, nothing major to report except a headache. One down few more hundred to go!!

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